Tino & Marianne

Tribute

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 06:48:00 +0000

While in the process of flitering though our stuff I came across an old notebook where, written in an agitated hand, was a reminder of why I first fell for you and just what you did to me.

While not about to fully expose my amorous (and somewhat silly) scribblings to the entire "anonymous" community, here are some exerpts portraying the tidal wave that falling for you was:

"I have got to take a closer look to examine my feelings. A few steps back from the tumult of emotions threatening to throw me over the brink into uncontrolled insanity. Let me see what sense I can make of things.

"What is the strongst emotion I experience? It's not fear? No, something far more powerful has taken control; it drowns out the screams, the voices predicting doom.

"Wanting -there is definitely feelings of that, but wanting what? From the first time our eyes locked I've wanted to be the one to lessen the pain, hurt and betrayal(?) I see in his eyes. Wanting -I want to be his angel. I want to be his lifeline, I want to be his sanity. Wanting- I want him to take me on the roller-coaster of my life. I think he could live out my fantasies... Wanting -I want him to devour me, to break me, to treasure me, to need me, to see in me what no one else sees.

"Fear -but fear of what? whom? Do I fear him? No, in fact there's a sense of being safe when he's around. It's as if I needn't have a care in the world. I feel as if no matter what, he'd take care of me; keep me safe. Fear -I fear his control over me. I've never met someone with so strong a hold on my mind. I hate to admit it, but from the start I suspected he could be the one strong enough to break me.

"Pure joy -every time I see that he is online, but the real wonder and beauty of it is, that unlike any other online "thing" I've had, that joy, every feeling and all my impressions of him are unaltered when we meet face to face. He is no facade in my mind that in real life is a completely different person. No, he's only better because he is real.

"God, why did you create a being designed, it seems, to torment me with pleasure and pain. I've never connected with another human being as I do with him. I've never known desire like this. If I let myself admit it, from the very beginning I knew he was gonna change my life. -tho I was happy to live in denial, "Let it be friendship; I can handle that!" but inside the fire grew.

"How long before this rope breaks and I fall into the canyon where there's no climbing out of? I fear having to live without him."

While some of the above may sound a bit melodramatic, you truly turned my world inside out.

I know more often than not, I fall short of being that angel that I so desired to be, but I am determined to strive to be more loving, kind, patient and caring. -qualities that any angel should possess!

Life hasn't been all smooth sailing, but you've always been my ballast. You've truly lived up to my prediction that "I needn't have a care in the world...(you'd) take care of me; keep me safe".

Loving you has been the ride of my life and I'm determined to remain on this ride for many years to come.

Happy Birthday, my love! I love you! -always!

Kids vs. Dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:11:00 +0000

When Alice was first born I struggled immensely with balancing out the things I had to/wanted to do and coping with caring for a baby. I know I wasted a lot of time in things that I thought I needed to do, and in not having a structured enough schedule. I used to think I was a fairly organized person, but there's nothing like having a kid to show you just how unorganized you really are.

Number two came along and I was sure that I would never cope. I had my sister helping out with Alice for a good portion of the day and Evy took these deliciously long naps, but even then, there never seemed to be enough time.

Moving from my cozy situation into a pioneer situation with not enough personnel to raise the funds, clean the house, cook and care for the 4 tiny kids, I came to the realization that if I was going to be a good mother and teacher, then I'd have to be willing to forsake my dreams of what I had wanted to be and do, and look at the reality that I was a mother and teacher and just needed to buckle down, accept my "fate" and do what needed to be done.

It was a hard decision to come to and I felt like my dreams were about to "walk the plank". But I knew it was the right thing to do and I wanted to be a good mother and do what's right for my kids. So, into the rubbish bin went my hobbies, dreams and ambitions. I put time and effort into creating the kids' curicculum, and doing what I could to ensure that they were getting a good (enough) education and had all their needs met.

Imagine my surprise when, after a bit of adjustment and better scheduling, I now find myself with time to not only give my kids what they deserve in the way of their education (which I found I also really enjoy doing), but find the time to dabble (more and more) in the type of work/ministry that I've dreamt about and always wanted to work in.

It was really the whole, "put it on the altar and the Lord will give it back to you" scenerio as I truly felt like I'd never again have the oppertunity to learn and grow in the areas that I wanted to specialize in, yet the Lord knew that eventually He'd repay. I'm very thankful that the Lord helped me make that initial sacrifice and immensely grateful that He saw fit to give it back to me.

I have by no means arrived in the organizational aspect, and each day I'm learning more about how to fit things in, and what's actually necessary to take care of now and what can wait. I find we often make decisions based on what we were taught or what is "proper", without really looking at whether it is needed. I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather be the mom who was relaxed, had fun with my kids and enjoyed their childhood than to be remembered by them as the mom that had everything in perfect order, but was always stressed out.

By God's grace I will continue to find the right balance, and that more and more I will be able to have my preferred ministries be used by Him and for the good of my home. -and when I'm good enough, perhaps even to make some extra cash! :D
Yay!

Stractab

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 22:01:00 +0000

Good-bye, Forbidden
So long, Perhaps
Farewell, what's Lost
Peace in my lap

Flutter by seven
Sixty more come
The gate's been shut
What's done is done

Joy of Sorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:37:00 +0000

Something I wrote sometime back when life was a bit rough.

Sorrow, come and be my joy
Join me here for midday tea
'Neath the shade of willow wheep
Share my broken company.

Leave me not for gladder souls
Share with me thy sweet refrain
Cold would be the carefree heart
That from sorrow would abstain

In thy sage and learned soul
Precious jew'ls lay hidden deep
Diamonds rare and rubies that
Make those born in mirth seem cheap.

Would the faint inner churning
Lend to me a written prayer
Cause a dried and barren well
With thy waters more to bear

When my soul has given forth
All the sweetness sorrow brings
Then let joyusness return
Join the singing my soul sings.

Remember?

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 08:44:00 +0000

The other day I contacted someone on a network site that I'd met once. They responded with "Do I know you?" While not entirely flattering, I didn't really expect them to remember who I was, especially considering that profile pictures can often look somewhat different than real life.

I remembered this person because they had a big imapct on my life. It was one little comment, at just the right time that made a very difficult time that much easier.

That is why I remember him.

Chances are, he'll never know. I may remain some unkown face to him, but if someday, a friendship were to devolop, I may just muster up the courage to tell him what a difference he made in my life.

It just goes to show, you never know how your words or actions may affect someone. Someone you may not even remember may credit you for saving their life, marriage or self esteem.

Thought provoking, isn't it?!

Soul search

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:48:00 +0000

After having done some internal reflecting, I've come to the conclusion that it's not healthy to close yourself off into your private little world once you've embarked upon a marriage/long-term relationship.

I've been so internally focused these past 6 years, that I've managed to lose not only some of the best friendships I ever had, but aparently, even the art of casual conversation, harmless flirting, and just plain having fun with the crowd.

It was not intentional nor even all that drastic, but more of a slow slipping away from the community of people I knew into the world of privacy that seemed so much safer.

I'd visit people's blogs, keep tabs on what they were doing and where they were, but they never knew. The status of lurker was all too easy to maintain. No having to deal with unsatisfied readers, no one to throw nasty comments my way, no one to harass my beliefs, no one to ridicule my way of expressing myself.

But also, no one to know me, no one to relate and sympathize with the changes my life was taking, no one to just have a friendly chat with, no one to see the side of me that lies hidden. My life was no open book. The topics I ended up talking about when friends did visit were trivial, and I fear, more often than not, completely uninteresting to the listener. (A fact proven when on more than one occasion, they'd blank out or suddenly start talking to someone else while in the middle of a conversation with me. Was I really that dull?!)

Perhaps I've been a little too safe. A little too careful.

So for those friends I've lost touch with, for the closeness I gave up, I'm sorry.

Jace, you were one of the best listeners I know. If you ever happen on this blog, I regret having given up what was a great friendship. You were always there to listen to me when I needed someone to talk to. I miss our friendship.

I have determined to try and come out of my shell a little more. To risk exposure, even if that means people know me once again and think they can predict my future. I've proven them wrong before, I can do it again.

Who knows, I may even start getting a comment or two!

:)

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:12:00 +0000

I find myself feeling both hopeful and terrified at all the new changes we are going through. The responsibility to make the right choices is so much greater, it seems, yet to have the freedom to actually make those choices is thrilling.

I feel that my life can go so much farther than I ever thought possible and the paths it may take now seems endless. -and to top it off, all of this can be done while still being in His highest will and without have to "forsake your plow".

How great is this change journey?!

It's about time

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 07:46:00 +0000

I figured it was about time I posted again. Now, don't get your hopes up, it's not going to be anything spectacular, just a way to persuade myself that I haven't completely lost touch with cyber-world.

Alice has recently developed an interest in mazes. I download them from various sites and print them out for her but she goes through them amazingly fast that I can barely keep up.

She's very much into art and anything artistic and I try to let her express herself artistically even if it means that her seals are rainbow colored and her elephants have green trunks. And when I question her choice of color and remind her that elephants are generally grey all around, she calmly informs me that THIS elephant stuck his nose in a bucket of green paint.

We went through a bit of a dry spell in her reading, but thanks to The Learning Company's "Interactive Reading Journey" game, she has gained a love for reading that up until now, I've only dreamed of.

Math is a subject she likes a lot and she's doing very good with her spelling and phonics. Though, of course, nothing beats our art project day in her list of favorite things to do.

Yesterday she made a fruit basket out of modeling clay complete with an apple and a tomato.

Since I started doing face-painting more regularly, she also decided that she wanted to become a face painter, so at every oppertunity, she practices on herself, creating her own ideas of faces to make such as an apple, which came out quite well, and a waterfall, the idea of which was quite brilliant, however, the application of it looked very close to something out of a horror movie.

Evlyne has invented a game for her times outdoor. First, she picks up all the pebbles she can find and carefully inserts one between each of her toes. Then she ambles over to the caravan where she proceeds to dump handfuls of pebbles in the holes of the wheel. It's a game that can enthrall her for up to a half hour straight!

She loves playing in the sand box, dunping the sand neatly outside of the box.

She's quite a stickler for tidying up and has discovered the joy of throwing things in the trash. While I appreciate her efforts at cleaning, I do find I have to intervene when her books, my socks and Alice's t-shirt ends up in said trash can. -at least she means well!

She's finally getting her last few teeth. Teething has been tough on her; far worse than I remember it being for Alice. But she remians (mostly) her cheerful little self. The picture is of her favorite "showing off my teeth" face. She is actually a very pretty baby, but her smile is so goofy that it tends to outshine her other beautiful features.

Coming soon are a few (extremely belated) pics of Alice's birthday party. I just needa get them off Tino's computer (a feat not as easy as it may sound!).

Till then,
Cheerio

Happy Birthday Grandpa

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:19:00 +0000

Here is Alice's birthday video to her grandpa. It's so cute and funny! -and the song about Jesus she made up by herself on the spot.

Here it is:

Alice's Generosity

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:09:00 +0000

At the end of a long and somewhat difficult day, Alice asked me to go upstairs and get her a cup of milk.

I said, "Mommy is too tired to run upstairs and get you a cup of milk. Can you please just have some water?"

She thought for a minute to decide how far she could extend her generosity to her tired mom and then said, "Well, you could walk".

Goofy Alice

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 11:10:00 +0000

Alice's way of asking me if she can use my computer:

"Mommy, can you just deal with it?"
"Can I just deal with what?"
"Can you just deal with me using your computer?"

And her comment on one of her uncles, Gabriel:

"Gaby is my tallest uncle forever." (I think she meant to say, "...tallest uncle of all.")

And here's a few pictures. Evlyne celebrated her first birthday on the 6th of Jan. Unfortunatly, the poor monkey was very sick with a high fever so she didn't really get to enjoy it as much as we had hoped. She was in a daze most of the time and after staring at her cake for about 5 minutes finally took a few bites. But PTL, she got better and is her chirpy happy self again.

Happy Birthday, Love

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 07:44:00 +0000

It's been a whole year since I last posted about you. This last year has been, in many ways the most eventful year that we've had together as a couple. It's definitely had more stress, tests of faith and mountains to climb than all the years before. It also has brought to my eyes a whole other level of "you". I've gained a degree of admiration that I had not previously had.

Thank you for another year of the honor of being your wife, the one you love and the mother of your children. I pray that this birthday will bring you your deepest desires and although I know the Lord has already given you one of them, I'm sure He's got a few more up his sleeve.

****************
From Alice:

I love you Papa. There's something for you on your birthday and I have something to give to you, Papa because I love you. I love you , we can go on a trip tomorrow. Dear Papa, you are 32. There was a nice thing that you will have it on your birthday. I think you eat ice-cream like me. I like the beans that you make, they are very very good and yummy. I like you to hold me in your arms like a baby. Baby starts with "b". Have a happy birthday, Papa.

Love,
Alice

Silhouettes

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:32:00 +0000

Here's a few I shot the other day

This month's post :)

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 17:07:00 +0000

Alice was singing her memory chapter Psalm 23 when she veered a little off course with:

"Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of my wife..."

And some pictures:

Ascension

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:01:00 +0000

Alice: I'm going to go up to Heaven to be with Jesus.

Mommy: Not too soon, I hope. Because we'd really miss you.

Alice: Why?

Mommy: Well, because we wouldn't be able to see you because you'd be a spirit, like Jesus.

Alice: Well, then you can just pray to me!

Dear Grandma

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:17:00 +0000

Here's a letter Alice dictated to me this morning. I typed it word for word, and then she practiced a bit of her own typing.

I don't know if it's just me, but I think it's so funny! Perhaps that's just cos I know her and can hear her say it all in her funny little voice and cute baby way of pronouncing things.

***
Dear Grandma, Grandpa, Gaby and Chrissy we write to say hi. Next thing we have to go and say we love you.

Grandma, we like to go to the house. We just like houses for us to live in it.

Yesterday we threw the bread far away for the ducks to eat it all up.

Grandma, Evy's new tooth is back. I got three tooths in my mouth so I can talk.

Grandma, we like to go to the playground with you and Grandpa and Gaby and Chrissy, that would be lots and lots of fun.

Now, grandma, I will type something for you:

octopus

ALIiCEe

graandpaa

chrissY

When we get to the house I want to visit you. I miss you and Grandpa, Chrissy and Gaby. I love you.

Love,
Alice

***

On another note, we'll be traveling to Italy and our new house on the 25th. Tino will go by car and I will follow in the evening with the girls by train. Please keep it in your prayers that all will go smoothly. I was initally a little nervous about traveling by myself for the first time with 2 small kids, but the Lord promised that everything would be ok. TTL!

Will see you on the other side...

Funnies

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 12:08:00 +0000

The morning after her Auntie Coral left for Brazil, we were in the kitchen eating breakfast when we heard the sound of an airplane flying. Alice quickly ran to me and said, "Shhh, Mommy, I think that sounds like Coral!"

****

A few days ago, she wandered out of the room. When I found her, she was in the food-room "cleaning" the fruits and veggies. When I asked her what she was doing that for, she replied, "For my country!"

Of slaps and tombs

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:04:00 +0000

Grandma had to give Cristian a little slap on his hand for disobeying. Alice immdediately came to his rescue and told Grandma that she shouldn't slap him. Grandma explained that sometimes when kids are naughty, they have to get a little slap. She went on to say that she had to slap Mommy (me) sometimes too when Mommy was a little girl. Alice's face registered horror! Then she said, "Grandma, then I'm going to teach you how not to slap people all the time!"

***

When asking where her great Grandmother lived, she was told that she lives in Thun (pronounced toon). Alice, having just learned about the Easter story, understood "tomb" and exclaimed, "Yes, just like Jesus!"

***

And one of Evlyne:

Alice's Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:42:00 +0000

Here's a few pics from Alice's birthday party. It was lots of fun with pizza, fingerpainting, a bubble bath, treasure hunt, cake, ice cream and more to make it a birthday to remember. Alice had a blast and wants every day to be her birthday!

The cake was great fun to make, Alice helped come up with the concept (she insisted on having a snowman somewhere in her cake!) and even tho it was so hot and humid that the fondant and icing start to melt before everyone got a piece, it was still yummy and she liked it! Thank God! HA!

Thanks to Nick, Mike and Coral for taking pics as Tino and I were too busy. It would have been a shame to have planned this whole party and not gotten any pics!

More pics coming as soon as I can get them from Mike's camera.

More flash

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 13:15:00 +0000

Thank you...

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Sat, 31 May 2008 14:48:00 +0000

Here's a thank you email Alice wrote recently to someone who visited us:

Dear _________,

Thank you for the presents you left for us. It was very sweet of you. Thank you for visiting us, it was very nice to see you. I love you. I let you borrow my play room. Today I used the paint brushes and the book and painted a helicopter. I want to show it to you because you are a boy like Gaby.

Lots of love,
Alice

Problems...

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Fri, 16 May 2008 15:11:00 +0000

Alice and I were walking outside the other day when she surprised and then amused me with the following conversation:

Alice (sighing): Mommy, I have a problem.

Me (thinking): Gosh, she young to be heart-sharing so seriously. (aloud): What is your problem, baby?

Alice: I like ice-cream.

Me (a little bewildered): How is that a problem? Ice-cream is yummy!

Alice: No, see Mommy, it's a happy problem!

She's so funny!

****

...and a couple pics from a few weeks ago:

Some more pics

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 10:20:00 +0000

I decided to stop being afraid of my flash and start learning to use it properly.

I've seen too many pics ruined by improper flash use and so up until now, I've pretty much tried to do without. It doesn't work so well! -Especially considering that our camera doesn't do so good in low light.

We get bad grain already at 200 ISO, and our f-stop doesn't go below 3.5 (and that's only when the lens is fully zoomed out, which, being that it's a wide angle lens, doesn't really help in most pics). Therefore, my f-stop is usually around 5ish and with an ISO at 100 it means that I have to put my shutter speed quite low. This is not very good when shooting kids as they tend to move a lot and it's terribly hard to get a clear shot.

Most pics that I've taken absolutely needed some post processing to either remove the nasty grain, lighten them up because I just couldn't use the shutter speed slow enough to get a properly lit shot, enhance the light fallling on the subject so the pic didn't look totally flat etc.

Ok, now that my excuses are out of the way, last night I decided to just try and use my flash and see what happens. Well, while these may not be the best of pics for various reasons, I was fairly pleased with the outcome and the fact that aside from a little sharpening and shrinking the pic to size, I didn't need to do anything in post! Hooray! :)

The light of the flash began to bother Tino and give him a headache, so I took myself off to another corner of the room where I tried desperately to get Alice to pose for me for longer than a fraction of a second. Unfortunatly, her patience ran out way too fast, so I wasn't able to get my settings completely right so this one did need a levels adjustment in post.

Mommy's beautiful girl

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:38:00 +0000

Why Men Lie

noreply@blogger.com (Tino&Marianne) — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:39:00 +0000

Found this on someone's blog. Thought it was funny!

Why Men Lie
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch off a tree above a river, his ax fell into the water.

When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his ax had fallen into the water, and he needed the ax to make his living.

The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden ax.

"Is this your ax?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver ax. "Is this your ax?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron ax. "Is this your ax?" the Lord asked.

" Yes", he replied.

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep,and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Angelina Jolie.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me,Lord. It is a misunderstanding.You see, if I had said 'no' to Angelina Jolie,You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones.Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife.Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives,and I love my wife such that I don't want her to share me with anyone,so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to Angelina Jolie."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good honorable reason, and for the benefit of others...MOSTLY his wife!